Scrapbook
by Music-Is-Life-88
Summary: Collection of oneshots about Penny and Sheldon raising their daughter as... well Sheldon and Penny's daughter. Need I say more? Shenny *Title change*
1. Birth

**#*# The Beginning #*#**

"I HATE THIS, OH MY GOD!" Penny screamed as she pushed harder at the nurse's request, wanting nothing more to just go back in time and never have sex if this is what comes out of it… or at least be skinny again. Sheldon stood there, wincing at the hypothetical pins and needles jabbing in his hand that his wife and the mother of his progeny squeezed with every contraction for the past three hours. They were inside the Pasadena General Hospital, where normally Sheldon would be panicking because of all the exposure to several deadly germs and diseases, but he noted that the particular room he was in right now was cleaned with remarkable efficiency. He made a mental note to re-type his draft for the letter to the hospital and its maintenance crew. "SHELDON I HATE YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

He looked at her, her face was flushed and tears were streaked down under her chin. She was covered with sweat and her screams made her face twist up in an unpleasant –and to Penny's ever growing frustration- unattractive way. "Penny, as I hope your minimal education taught you, it takes more than just one party to procreate." He sighed, it seemed like it was yesterday when Penny was 19 days pregnant and the two went to the OB/GYN office to find out the gender of the baby –although he knew it was precisely 262 days ago- and Sheldon insisted actually going through with it and finding the gender was the proper protocol of those with child, but Penny wanted it to be a surprise. He didn't cope too well for a bit after that.

One of the 'extra' nurses tried to put a comforting hand on Sheldon's shoulder. His eyed widened and he stared at her, his eyes bulging out in a way that wouldn't seem humanly possible to those who don't know Sheldon. Penny however had the, unfortunate, experience of seeing Sheldon forcing a smile, and saw that his eyes looked exactly the same, not making her present situation any better. She didn't have time to focus on her estranged baby daddy when another sudden wave of pain attacked her. The nurse took a step back from the now visibly frightening man but kept her composure. "Sir, I understand this situation can be difficult for the father as well, so maybe it would be best if you waited outside."

Sheldon offered a face of shock and disbelief. "I hardly think so, it is protocol that the father and husband figure stay in the room for the event of their future offspring."

"Oh God…" Penny moaned, dragging the word out loud. As selfish as it sounded, she wished she never did this. Extra pounds plus pain, that's not fair, she thought, what do I get in return? "OW!"

"It's coming!" shouted one of the nurses.

The nurse talking to Sheldon looked over and started to panic, wanting to go over and help with the delivery if needed. "Sir, there's no 'protocol' I just think that it would be better if -"

"No, it wouldn't, because I'm given to understand that during this situation the child bearer and, in this Christian correct scenario, wife needs support-" Sheldon stood his ground and took his hand out of Penny's, crossing his arms in front of him childishly.

"Oh GOD!" How could Sheldon say this was human, natural? This is something the size of a watermelon going through a hole the size of a golf ball. _Not logical to me! OW!_ She thought, trying to distract herself from the pain and someone's annoying high pitched screams. _Oh wait._

"Just a few more pushes Mrs. Cooper." Another nurse shouted.

Penny started balling. "I _CAN'T!_"

"And comfort." Sheldon finished. The nurse looked at the strange man in front of her.

"Mr. Cooper, _please_, I think it would be better for everyone-"

"Well, you're 'thoughts' as you call them, are hardly an acceptable credential for knowledge of how to best handle this situation. I, on the other hand, have a Ph.D." he boasted.

Penny screamed louder, saying something that couldn't be made out. The nurses around her encouraged and soothed her. "Come on Mrs. Cooper, one more."

The young nurse dealing with the persistent physicist became defensive, seeing there was nothing she could do with the delivery. "I have my degree in medicine."

"A Ph.D.?" He questioned.

"No…"

"I rest my case."

The argument was cut shorter than Sheldon would have normally dragged it on for, when the room became oddly silent. Penny's deep breathing was all that could be heard in the room. She suddenly started panicking. "What- what's wrong with my baby? It's not crying! That-That's bad, right Sheldon? We read the baby cries because if it doesn't it's-"

"Mrs. Cooper, your baby is fine, not all babies cry. Those parenting books you've," she glanced at Sheldon, "_no doubt_ read, they're more guidelines than anything. Every baby is different." Upon hearing this news, Sheldon became afraid, his eyes widened again in fear and he became stiff. The nurse took note of this and smiled at him. "Would you like to hold your baby girl?" He hesitantly held his arms in the same way the demonstration videos depicted as she placed the delicate bundle in them. He tried to remember how to rest of the video went, how to hold it, what to say, what to do step by step, his mind went blank. Instead, it came naturally; he held his daughter close to his chest to protect her and looked at her big blue eyes, which triggered Sheldon's memory of a part of one of the baby books; saying that in the first few minutes to months most babies' eyes would turn to blue and then their proper colour. He began to ponder what she'd look like, impatient for having to wait a few months. He imaged her to grow as beautiful as her mother, and as genius as he. She'd be the first in a line of new species of human beings that would lead the world to a brighter tomorrow.

"Sh-sheldon…lemmesee." Penny mumbled tiredly, her words were slurred together. His face resembled one of shock and resistance, but he willing handed their daughter over to his wife, who he admitted never looked more gorgeous. "She's s…so pretty." She smiled, but groaned as her head started hurting. Sheldon put his hand on her shoulder and her pain washed away. She spent the most painful three hours of her life for her daughter, for his daughter, _their_ daughter. She started feeling guilty for thinking what she thought, for forgetting the two most important people in her life. "What should we name her?"

"We should name her Rosalind, after Rosalind Franklin, whose contributions to the discovery helical structure of DNA go generally unacknowledged." He explained, looking at the sleeping bundle.

Penny glared at him. "No." Sheldon became shocked and opened his mouth. "No! We're NOT naming our daughter after some scientist; I don't want her to get beat up… What about Christina?"

Sheldon looked down at her. "Whose name would _that_ be originally?"

Penny looked down guiltily. "Aguilera… but at least people KNOW who that is. Our daughter explains to someone she's named after a physicist and she'll be eating by herself in the library all her life!"

"That happened to me and I turned out just _fine!_" At this point the nurse came in and said she had to take the baby. "Umm, no, I'm afraid I can't authorise that course of action."

The nurse looked at him confused but Penny covered for him. "He means we just need a few more minutes to come up with a name." The nurse hesitantly walked out and informed them they had five minutes since they had to move Penny to the maternity ward soon. "Penny, surely there's a compromise for this situation that would leave all parties happy, including our little unnamed female Homo Sapiens, Homo Sapiens _Sapiens_ if using the Trinomial name."

After listening to Sheldon for years, she had a system to replay what he said, take out the main parts, and try to piece together what he said. "You're willing to compromise?" She spoke slowly, sounding each word out to try and make them make sense.

"No, but Leonard has informed me that when arguing with A) A woman, B) A woman in your condition, and or C) A woman about her child, then the –most commonly male- second party has little to no chance in succeeding."

Penny smiled and beckoned him to lean over. When he did, she kissed his cheek. "You can choose the _middle_ name, after any science lady ya want."

Sheldon beamed and she could see the gears turning in his head, searching for the perfect name. She guessed that their little girl would have daddy wrapped around her finger, Penny could she her having her father's brains and mothers beauty and social skills, being the most popular girl in her school, never being bullied, safe. Sheldon interrupted her fantasy. "Maria, after an Italian and a German…erm… 'scientist' as you insist to refer everyone who made a contribution to your everyday life by."

"That's great… I'm naming her Victoria." She said nicely, but firmly as to show this was her definite decision. "We'll dress you up all posh." She whispered softly in her sleeping baby's ear. Sheldon raised an eyebrow and Penny blushed guiltily. "Victoria… as in Beckham." Sheldon's expression did not change from one of confusion. She began to speak in a 'duh' tone. "Spice girls? Posh Spice?" He began twitching abruptly and she put a hand on his arm and rubbed it soothingly. "I'll explain when we get home." She giggled. "We, me and our baby…" she trailed off dreamily, looking up at the ceiling letting her hand fall down his arm to his hand.

He took it and intertwined their fingers. "The proper way of saying that is 'our baby and I'; grammatically speaking."

**A/N: So, I hope you like it! I personally don't really support the Shenny pairing since what I see on TV is just a funny as hell friendship, but I don't hate it or mind it on FF. It's definitely cute and funny, especially to write! So, umm, reviews would be lovely… **


	2. Sleeping

**#*# Sleep #*#**

1:25 am.

_1:25 am_.

It was so early in the morning that the sky was pitch black. In five hours and five minutes Sheldon Cooper had to get up, make oatmeal, get changed for work, and then carpool with Leonard to the university.

Of course, he couldn't do that without the proper amount of REM sleep, or any sleep at this point, which he was not getting. The baby's cries from the living room were filling the apartment, little high pitch drones and wails. Sheldon lay on his back, staring at the ceiling in annoyance, waiting for Penny to get up and calm their daughter, but instead she rolled onto her stomach and continued to snore. He sat up straight and looked at the sleep figure beside him, her body rising in falling in tune with her breaths, she looked so peaceful.

He poked her side and she sprang up out of slumber. "I'm up I'm up." She mumbled, and then with realisation, she turned her head slowly to her husband, eyes narrowed in frustration.

Sheldon just stared back at her. "The baby's crying." He pointed out obviously, trying to ignore Penny's icy glare.

She fell back onto the bed and pulled her pillow closer to her. "I'm aware that Victoria's crying Sheldon," she whined into the pillow "and since you're her daddy, you could _for once_ go and put her back to sleep."

Sheldon shook his head. "Oh no, I don't think that would be a logical- Penny?" He saw that once again she was on her stomach snoring. He huffed in defeat and placed his feet in his slippers. He stood up stiffly, grabbed his Green Lantern lantern for light and shuffled out the door. There, in her small plastic crib with a planetary mobile turning overhead, was the source of the crying. Sheldon walked towards it and leaned over, examining the distressed bundle inside. Victoria was bawling, her little face red and chubby arms flailing slightly. He hung the lantern on the perch he had Wolowitz add on, and picked up the crying infant. Her sobs became quitter, but didn't stop. Instead her tiny hands gripped onto the loose fabric of Sheldon's robe and began lightly tugging.

He froze in fear of the sticky hands on his clean robe and tried to pry them off. "I don't think that to be appropriate Maria." Sheldon always referred to his progeny by her middle name, the one he chose. Penny argued that the girl would grow up confused about which was her real name but Sheldon brushed it off, _his_ daughter would know that the birth certificate clearly states 'Victoria Maria Cooper', whether or not she wants to be referred to as a 'Spice Girl' or after a contributor to science and the world as we know it was up to her.

When Sheldon finally pried his daughters hand off his robe, she started crying louder again. He groaned and began to initiate burping by placing her on his shoulder and rubbing and patting her back, but she kept crying. "Oh of course, you can't burp until you've actually processed enough food to do so!" He carried her to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of milk, placing it in the microwave. He watched in desperation as the bottle turned around and around being heated up. "Please, just stop crying, look, the bottle is right there with an adequate amount of proteins, vitamins and nutrients that would be better delivered by your mother if she didn't refuse to breast feed." He explained. Victoria's voice quieted down as she listened to her father explain the nutritional values of breast milk. "Of course, I understand you can understand me now, but whether or not you'll remember this for the future is another matter entirely. All well, I shall just have to remind you when you begin puberty so should you find yourself participating in coitus you won't make the same mistake your mother is making."

Victoria giggled, whether or not at what her father was saying or just at the sound of her voice is not known, but when the microwave beeped, signalling the milk was warmed, she began crying again. "You're quite impatient; I wonder which genetic line you inherited that from." He mused, grabbing the bottle, dabbing it on his wrist to make sure it wasn't too hot. "The temperature seems sufficient. Of course I can't know if it will be acceptable for you, you seem to have your mother's pickiness." He placed the bottle in her mouth and watched with fascination as the small bundle drank the entire thing with ease. When the bottle was empty he put it on the counter and looked down at his daughter, waiting for her to cry, but she didn't, instead her little eyelids started to flutter, fighting off sleep.

"Is that all you were crying about?" He asked as he brought her back to her crib. "I suppose that is normal for now, but once you reach a certain age you have to understand that the norm is one cries because one if sad, for example I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad." He placed her gently back in her crib and tucked her in, but she still tried to fight the sleep, looking up and her daddy. "Now, I'll see you tomorrow, not that there's much of a choice specifically on your part since you can't move without a third party assistance. Babies need sleep to, as you should know, I did read you all the parenting books we got to make sure the criteria was acceptable for you." He looked up at the lantern and shut it off. In total darkness, she allowed her eyes to close as she drifted back off into sleep.

Sheldon smiled happily as he sat back down on the bed. He nudged an angry Penny awake. "WHAT?" She barked at him.

"I don't know why you complain about putting her back to sleep, it's quite easy."


	3. Dresses and Stresses

Everyone had gathered at Leonard's apartment waiting for the final members of their 'rag-tag band of scientists'. When Sheldon and Penny came over, he noted how everyone gravitated towards Victoria, leaving him to ponder the argument he and Penny had just minutes before.

#%#

"Sheldon, look at this!" Penny shouted from their bedroom. Sheldon sped up brushing his teeth, trying to reach his 100 brushes before Penny called for him again. "Sheldon!" He reluctantly spat out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. He smiled in the mirror. 84 brushes, he could see the remaining plaque starting to reproduce. When Sheldon entered their bedroom, he was stunned. Penny was holding his daughter in a frilly pink dress. "Isn't she the most _precious_ little thing?"

"What on Earth is she wearing?" He asked, shocked at the ridiculous clothing on the infant. "That's no practical attire for her."

Penny raised an eyebrow, as she jutted out her hip, placing her hand on one side and resting Victoria on the other. "Excuse me? _Practical attire_? For visiting our long-time friends across the hall?" Sheldon continued to stare at her as if she said the most obvious thing in the world. "Ok, Sheldon, she is a _baby_. The clothes cover her and keep her warm, but most of all they look _so cute_! _Yes they do, yes they do_." Penny cooed in her daughter's face, blowing a raspberry on her tummy. Victoria giggled, drooling onto her dress. Being a prepared mother, Penny grabbed a face wipe and cleaned her up.

Sheldon, however, remained objective. "Penny, if we encourage her to wear these types of clothing, before you know it she'll be wearing short shorts and tube tops to the first day of fifth grade." Penny raised an eyebrow while taking a glance up from cleaning their daughter. "How will that make us as parents look, and more specifically me look as a paternal figure?"

She shook her head, and dug into her head to come up with a way for Sheldon to let Victoria dress up. "Sheldon, it is a non-negotiable social obligation for us to dress our baby daughter in the cutest wittle dress," Penny bounced a giddy Victoria up and down

He looked at the Penny, about to argue more until he looked at his daughter. She was smiling a toothless smile and giggling loudly. "Well, she _does _seem happy… and since it's non-negotiable…" Penny smirked in satisfaction and grabbed her purse with baby supplies.

"Exactly, now come on, we're going to be late." Then she started out the door.

Sheldon followed and stopped in front of the hall mirror. He smiled widely and examined his teeth, still upset he didn't finish brushing them. "Soon I'll be toothless too."

#%#

Now they were at Leonard's apartment and Sheldon stood uncomfortably watching everyone hold his daughter for a bit, then pass her on to someone else. Bernadette held Victoria close and was rocking her in her arms. "Howard, isn't she the cutest?"

"Oh yeah, very cute for a chubby wrinkled little thing."

"Don't you want kids?" She asked, passing Victoria over to Howard, who held her at arm's length.

"What? Oh yeah, just what I need, something that's always eating, whining, and pooping."

"We live with your mother still, don't we?"

Howard blinked and stared at his wife, "Well yeah, good point." He passed Victoria over to Raj.

Penny went beside Sheldon and wrapped her arms around his, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Isn't this nice sweetie? All of us here with Victoria, like a family."

Sheldon looked at his wife from the corner of his eye and noticed how content she was. He glanced over at his companions and saw all of them interacting, sharing smiles and laughs along with positive conversation. "Yes, I suppose."

Penny wrinkled her eyebrows. How could he not take in the happy atmosphere? She looked up at him, about to give him an earful, until she saw the tiniest smile form before disappearing.

Victoria was now in Amy's arms and reaching for her glasses. "Now Victoria, I don't believe you have astigmatism so these will do nothing for you. Except cover up most of your face and have the other girls your age exile you and put strange things in your food." The others all looked at Amy, "What? I'm merely preparing her for her possible future."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Penny asked curiously, reaching for her baby.

Amy handed Victoria over before explaining. "Well, look at her parents, speaking from experience she's going to either be a genius who gets ridiculed or an idiot who becomes popular and easy."

"Hey…" Penny trailed off sadly. "Why can't she be smart and popular?"

"Please Penny, this is real life."

#%#

When everyone left Leonard's place, Penny, Sheldon, and Victoria went back across the hall. After she put a tired Victoria in her crib, she sat on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. Sheldon saw this and moved cautiously to sit beside her. She lowered her head and began whimpering. "There there…"

She sniffed and looked up at him. "Sheldon, are they right? Is she just going to end up like one of us?"

"Penny, do you remember what we said after our progeny was born?"

"No! Sheldon, no, because I don't have an eidetic memory like you. And there's like, a 50% chance she'll have it too. I don't want her to be like me, and I _don't_ want her to be like you."

"I resent that, she'd be lucky to be a part of the new species of human."

"Ya ya, 'homo novus' the ever smart and constantly made fun of." Sheldon watched Penny sob quietly to herself and he just sat there, unsure of what to say for once in his life. "Sheldon, don't you get it? I mean, as a parent, aren't you supposed to want the best for your children?" He thought about it, that did seem to be the norm amongst many animals. "So what if we can't give it to her?"

Sheldon, in a moment of confusion, put his hand on her shoulder. "Penny," he sifted awkwardly in his seat, trying to ajust himself in the situation he put himself in, "when a coach takes on a trainer, what does he do?"

"Coach? No wait, train! No wait…"

"Either way," he cut her confused rambling off, "I'll coach her mind to be as superior as my own while you can coach _or train_ her in the ways of 'people skills' as mine are apparently lacking."

She looked up at him and kissed him on the lips, quick but sweet. "Thanks Sheldon, you _somehow_ always know what to say."

Sheldon watched her as she rested her head happily on his shoulder again. "I should point out I may have transferred some plaque and other germs to you due to the fact I didn't complete the hundred brush strokes when brushing my teeth this morning."

**A/N: So, quickly, who should Leonard and Raj be paired up with? In my fic, they may not all be married yet but they all are 'paired up'. I was thinking Leonard with Amy (because that would be just fun to write ^_^) and then Raj with an OC (OC haters, don't worry, this is revolving around Shenny and Victoria so if I do put an OC for Raj it, it would just be so Raj got some love). So Review and tell me what you think about everyone else's love life. Also about what you think about the chapter! I'll update soon, I hope.**


	4. Fatherly Worries

Sheldon sat on his spot in his old apartment and stared straight ahead. Leonard, Raj, and Howard watched him with a mix of concern and curiosity. Howard was the first to speak up, "So, should we poke him with a stick? See if he's dead?"

"I'm not dead, I'm still breathing in oxygen, breathing out carbon dioxide, eating food, and expelling waste."

"Great…"

Leonard shoved Howard out of the way and sat beside his 'so called' best friend, "Sheldon," he started, trying to wrap an arm around his shoulder. Sheldon glared at Leonard with frighteningly wide eyes and Leonard retracted his arm, moving himself farther away. "Ahem, Sheldon, what are you doing here? Doesn't Penny need help with Victoria?"

Sheldon's eyes darted between everyone and he began to speak nervously, "That's the problem…"

"What problem?" The other three men now concerned.

"I'm not sure that she is an adequate daughter." The three men gasped and Howard hit Sheldon on the back of the head. Leonard soon after did the same, glaring at him.

Raj joined in, "Are you insane! Yeah yeah, I know your mother had you tested, but come on Sheldon! What could be wrong with her?"

Sheldon shook his head, "Nothing, _yet_." He took a deep breath. "My 'friends', I must confess something. I'm worried- no, no I can admit it, I'm afraid."

Leonard's harsh glare vanished and was replaced with sympathy. " Oh, Sheldon, it's normal for first time fathers to be nervous about how they'll do with their kid, it's important to remember that you're not doing it alone, Penny is right there with you wondering the same things you are and I'm sure that together you'll be able to-"

"Oh gosh no, I'm not worried about _that_. No I'm confident I can single-handedly raise the perfect protégé. No, no I'm worried about Victoria. It has come to my attention that while she may inherit some qualities from me, it's impossible to guarantee she'll inherit my brains. Gentlemen, I realized the most horrific possibility ever imaginable." He looked between all of them, his features showed how frantic he was, "What if, my child… is stupid?"

Howard and Leonard hit him again as Howard spoke, "We can only pray that with Penny as the mother she won't be."

"Now hold on, let's think here. Howard, if my thought process is too fast… don't interrupt me. Now, what if by the time she's four she won't be able to correctly administer Pythagorean Theorem? Or calculate the volume of a cylinder!" After he spoke he looked between Leonard and Howard, "Please don't hit me." Leonard just smiled, not a taunting smile (ok, not _fully_ a taunting smile), but one of knowing. As soon as Sheldon registered this, he scowled, "What is it?"

Leonard looked at Howard and Raj, "He's actually worrying, he's _having doubts."_ He enunciated happily, the other men nodding in understanding, leaving a flustered Sheldon sitting clueless. "Sheldon, you aren't worried about Victoria, you're worried about yourself."

"Why would you say that?"

"Sheldon, it's perfectly normal to start freaking out when you have a kid." Leonard explained, "Of course most fathers worry about money for tuition and braces, their daughters bringing boyfriends home, or never being able to go out to bar for guy's night again… but at least we can now further prove you _are_ human!"

"Sheldon Cooper does not 'worry' or 'question' his own skills." He explained, using finger quotation marks for worry, an action he reserved for only the highest points of mockery, "I'm just…concerned." He mumbled, looking down at his feet. Leonard simply got up and walked out of the room, "Well thanks for the support!" He shouted at his best friend's fleeting figure, "I imagine this is how Batman reacts to these sorts of emotional conversations with Superman as well." He mused aloud, looking down at the Superman logo on his t-shirt.

Leonard returned moments later with Victoria wrapped up in a pink blanket, making Sheldon scoff, "Penny continuously informs me that that is the traditional color for newborn females, but I keep telling her that the color was originally created for men. I then went on to point out her pink beret is a prime example of-" Leonard placed the baby in Sheldon's arms.

Leonard, Howard and Raj were still amazed at how instantly; Sheldon stopped talking and held her just the right way. Sheldon would say it was all the parenting books he read, but they knew it was father's instinct. "Look at her," Leonard said,

"I am looking at her Leonard."

"Sheldon, just-!" He took a breath and sat back beside the father and daughter, "Just look into her eyes,"

"They're closed," Leonard shot Sheldon a death glare, "Alright, alright. I'm looking at her _eyelids_, now what?"

"Tell me you're not worried."

"I already did that, multiple times as I recall."

Leonard removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Look at her eyes," Sheldon stared expectantly at Leonard, "eye_lids_, and say that you aren't worried."

Sheldon looked at his daughter's eyelids. For a moment, he concluded that is eyelids could be perfect, hers would be. He opened his mouth to speak, just as Victoria let out the tiniest, high pitched yawn. His mouth closed and she began to open her eyes. He looked at Leonard, genuine fear shown in his eyes, "I can't."

Leonard smiled; success. "I know, but now look at her _eyes_." Sheldon just stayed still, "Sheldon, her eyes are open, you can do this."

"Leonard, I'm worried," He nodded for Sheldon to continue, "What if my astounding fathering skills are too much for Victoria and it just passes her by because she has the attention span of her mother?"

Leonard face-palmed, "Damn it Sheldon, just look into her eyes. Those are your eyes,"

"Actually, I believe you mean they _resemble_ my eyes, my eyes are right here, these are my eyes."

"I know!" _Why did I think I could have a real, human moment with him?_ Leonard groaned to himself, "Anyways, just please, I beg of you, look into her eyes that are remarkably similar to yours. There, now tell me you aren't going to do everything in your power to raise her right. That you won't do anything to can to make sure she's safe and happy with you and Penny."

Sheldon stared down into his daughter's eyes, it was like looking into a chubby, pink mirror, he noted. "Leonard? Is the answer supposed to be the same as before?"

"No!"

"Oh good, because I will." The other three high-fived as Sheldon took the chance to let a quick (non-clown like) smile show on his face for his daughter. "Oh, and Leonard?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Remember how you said father's worry about their daughter's bringing home boyfriends?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not,"

Leonard looked at Howard and Raj wide-eyed, "Really? That's great!"

"Here's the catch…" Howard mumbled,

"Yes, you see I shall raise her not to be dependent on human contact and the ridiculous pathological need for love."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm back! The plot bunnies are-a-breeding! Please review if any of you are still out there!**


	5. First StepsFirst Words

"Leonard, you look really nice for you date with Amy," Sheldon remarked as Leonard gave him some milk since Penny hadn't had a chance to go to the store.

"Wow, thanks Sheldon. I-"

"Bazinga, I don't care." The tall physicist chuckled oddly has he accepted the milk and crossed the hallway to his and Penny's apartment. He became disgusted at the wetness of the carton and un-nerved by the fact he had to go and borrow it from Leonard. As he entered their apartment, he noticed Penny cooing at Victoria on the floor,

"Hey sweetie, did you have fun?" Penny asked, not taking her eyes off the baby.

"Oh yes, while I was there we figured at time-travel and applied it to the phone booth outside. I am the Doctor."

"That's nice sweetie, come over here!"

Sheldon placed the milk in the fridge and walked to where his family had gathered on the carpet, "I assumed the bazinga was implied…" He stopped when he noticed Penny glaring at him before returning her attention to the baby, "I don't see why you couldn't just go to the store, now I had to ask Leonard to borrow some milk. That was a lie, borrowing implies giving it back, we can't give it back we need it to drink."

"I think Leonard knows that," She told him, holding Victoria so she was standing up, "And I told you I couldn't go to the store because today's the day that Victoria walks! Yes it is! Yes it is!" The baby giggled as Penny blew a raspberry on her tiny belly,

"Penny, I don't believe you get to choose when she walks." Noticing Penny ignore this statement and continue holding Victoria up only to have her fall down again, he continued, "And you also can't know whether Leonard knows we're using the milk for drinking, there are other purposes for milk such as baking or scientific experiments. My goodness, you just have to control everything about everyone don't you?"

Penny looked up at her husband with wide eyes, "Bazinga… right?" Sheldon merely returned the confused expression, "Look Sheldon, call it mother's instinct. Like how I know she's going to say her first word soon."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"She's been making vowel sounds and forming syllables, at only 6 months old! Who's a smartie-pants? You're a smartie-pants!"

Sheldon sighed and took Victoria away from Penny. He resumed what she had been doing, standing her up and watching as she tried to maintain balance only to fall again, "Penny, please refrain from using baby talk. She's not an idiot. In fact, younger children soak up information faster so I believe we should take this opportunity to plant in the basic principles of physics into her tiny, impressionable mind." Penny looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "Bazinga!" She let out the breath she was holding and laughed along with him, "We couldn't start her off with physics until she understand the foundations of science and mathematics."

Penny stared at her peculiar husband and took Victoria back, "Sheldon, she's just a baby. If she can't walk or talk yet, what makes you think she'll be able to understand math and science?"

"Well she doesn't need to walk and talk, she just needs to listen, operate a calculator, and read theories from a textbook."

"Gah-gah!" The couple looked at their baby, who was sitting on the floor, arms outstretched to her parents, "Gah-Gah!"

"Oh!" Penny shouted out excitedly, anxious for her daughter's first words, "What do you think she's trying to say?"

Sheldon thought for a moment, "Well 'Gah' is a small village in Pakistan…"

"Can you say momma?" Penny asked, as Victoria spoke out again, moving her outstretched arms.

"Penny I believe she wants to be picked up,"

"Wait until she says the word! Come on, say momma."

"Well now- hold on a second." Sheldon gave a questioning stare at his wife, which she returned with a guilty expression on her face, "Why should her first word be 'momma'?"

Penny laughed, "What? Do you want it to be 'da-da'?"

"Well I don't see why not! She has just as much of my DNA as you and I believe I've spent enough time with her that we can greet other with such formalities!"

"Ma-gah!" Victoria shouted again, desperate for her parent's attention. They looked at her and she had a large, toothless grin across her face,

Penny squealed and picked her up, "Did you hear that Sheldon! She almost said momma, didn't you baby?"

"Bazingah!" Victoria cried out, giggling shrilly.

Penny stared in shock at her daughter before turning around to her husband, casting him a murderous glare, "Sheldon." She dragged his name threateningly,

"I may have been teaching her some words when I watch her and you spend some time alone…" he admitted guiltily. Penny simply sighed, it was hard to stay mad at the genius for spending time with his own daughter. She put Victoria down and pecked her husband on the cheek. She smiled when he didn't recoil; she remembered when they first started going out and they could barely hold hands without some sort of health inspection.

"It's ok." She whispered, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Penny being the only woman he embarked with in physical contact, her kisses and touches always made him react heavily. The blush on his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by the blonde and she smirked, bringing her leg on the other side of him so she was straddling his lap. She pulled him in for another kiss, letting it linger on. He began kissing back with expert skills. With Sheldon, she happily discovered, show him once then he could master.

Their make-out session was cut short when something rubbery hit the back of Penny's head. She squeaked in pain and they looked over. Victoria had walked over to the box of toys and was standing beside it holding another rubber ball, "Bazinga! Bazinga! Bazinga!" She kept chanting, bouncing the balls around to her amusement.

Penny laughed at her daughter's antic before turning to Sheldon, "If I find out you taught her that too…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey-o lovely readers of mine! So here we have Victoria's first word and first steps. In two more chapters we will be hitting some time skips so that she can get older and more crazy antics can ensue! What's coming up for her you may ask? Well, I suppose I could tell you what will happen in the next two chapters: Her first tooth, her first haircut and her first birthday. Take out and make of that what you will.**

**Please Review!**


	6. First Birthday

"And this is a piece of hair from her first haircut!"

"Aww!" Bernadette cooed as she, Amy and Penny were going through the scrapbook Penny had started about her daughter.

"And!" She put the scrapbook down and ran to gather Victoria in her arms, making the baby giggle, "she has her first tooth!" The women all 'awwed' again.

From the other end of the room, the men were conversing freely, about Star Trek, D&D, and date of this year's San Diego Comic-con. "Hmm," Sheldon said loudly, in the middle of their conversation. Howard, who was the one talking at the time, cast a questioning glance at Leonard. Leonard shook his head and urged him to continue. Howard continued about his newest requests from NASA when Sheldon interrupted louder, "_**Hmm**_!"

Leonard squeezed his eyes shut, "Yes Sheldon, how may we listen to your narcissistic rambles today?"

"I've been pondering,"

"Pondering?" Raj repeated, questioning Sheldon's word choice.

"Yes, pondering. It's a question more in the area of the social sciences," he didn't pay attention to the shocked looks appearing on the others' faces, "it's an area that really shouldn't be counted as science, it's so simple and unimportant." He turned to face Howard, "Howard, I have a question for you,"

"Look, Sheldon, I know you think that Engineering is the 'slow younger brother' to physics but that doesn't mean I know anything about any other field you deem 'lesser'."

"I'm aware, but out of the four of us, you seem to be my best bet to access the knowledge gained from unnecessary fields of science."

Howard glanced down at his feet consciously, folding his arms defensively, "I have a PhD,"

"Yes, but you were the last of us to get it,"

"Ok, Sheldon!" Leonard shouted, "What is your question?"

Sheldon leaned back in his spot, "Why are 'firsts' so important?"

The other three looked at each other nervously, "Umm, first whats?" Raj asked hesitantly, he leaned in towards Howard, "Did you have the talk with him?"

"Are you kidding? Penny was his first, I doubt there was much talking, more Penny ordering him around,"

Sheldon, casting a suspicious glance at Howard and Raj talking quietly, he turned to Leonard, "All of Victoria's first. Why is Penny insisting every moment be captured and put into that book? Why is a lock of hair from her first haircut so important?"

"Sheldon, do I look like I have a kid? Surprisingly, and none of us for our lives could say how, but you were the first to have kids. So, whenever we need advice on how to be a father, we're going to have to come to you- again, I can't begin to express my shock. Sheldon, maybe you should ask Penny? She's the one making a scrapbook, not me."

Sheldon thought for a moment, "I believe, grammatically, what you meant to say was-"

"Just go!" Sheldon got up slowly, moving away from Leonard slowly, frightened. He walked to the group of women and instinctively reached for his daughter. Bernadette and Amy excused themselves and went to sit with the guys.

"Raj, where's your fiancée?" Asked Bernadette, after taking her seat between Howard and him.

Raj smiled, "she's working on her thesis, but she said happy birthday to Victoria and is sorry she had to miss it."

"Penny, why are Victoria's firsts important?"

Sheldon's wife looked up at him in shock, "Well, how couldn't they be!" She felt herself become agitated,

"I asked first, and the answer to your question is anything you don't state in your answer and I hypothesize that it would be quicker to name reasons why it's important than why it isn't since anything unrelated can also be included- i.e. 'it's not important because in 1840-"

"Ok, Sheldon!" Penny sighed, walking to the kitchen, motioning for him to follow. She reached into the fridge and scavenged through it, looking for a white box, "It's because I want to look back and be able to recall every memory from Victoria's life. I want to share it with her when she's older so we can laugh about it, and as a mother, it's emotionally satisfying to make sure everything amazing my daughter does is remembered." She looked up at Sheldon, whose facial expression didn't change. Of course the emotional answer wouldn't satisfy, "It's also a way to know that the baby is healthy if the things they do are during a designated time." She finished in monotone.

Finally she found the baker's white box and pulled it out. She opened the lid and let it fall back as she reached for the candle she bought. She placed the giant '1' candle in the center of the small vanilla cake with icing made to look like a rabbit hold balloons. On all the balloons were small drawings of particles. Penny smiled as she remembered the face of the man at Dairy Queen when Sheldon requested it, "Go over there with the others, I'll bring the cake," Sheldon nodded obediently. Before he got too far, Penny tugged on his arm, "and you better sing."

Sheldon sat in his spot, clutching Victoria close to his chest. He didn't hide the disappointment well when she reached out her tiny hands to be held by 'Uncle Howard'. Penny lit the candle and started the song and everybody joined in. Howard held Victoria with one arm, using his other hands to sing the Happy Birthday song like Stephen Hawking.

Penny put the cake down on the table in the center and knelt down, taking her daughter from Howard, "Ok sweetie, blow out the candle. Come on, like this," Penny mimicked blowing out the candle and Victoria made a 'uck' sound. Penny, unsure of what to say to this, just leaned Victoria closer to the cake, "Come on sweetie, just-AH!"

She was interrupted when Victoria took a fistful of cake and rubbed it on Penny's face, making her scream. Everyone was frozen in shock, where did Victoria get that attitude? Victoria then grabbed a napkin and wiping her arms, which were now sticky from the icing dripping down. Then, baby Victoria teetered her way to her father and reached her hands out. Sheldon, thinking she wanted to be picked up, scooted back in his spot, not wanted to touch anything sticky. Then, he looked down and noticed she was reaching for the bottle of hand sanitizer sticking out of his pocket. He grabbed it and squirted a dollop in her tiny hands, she proceeded to rub them together in large, harsh movements, giggling as drops of sanitizer splashed out.

Well, they all knew where she got _that_ attitude.


	7. First Day of Kindergarten

"Victoria, time to get up!" Penny's voice sang. She opened the windows to her daughter's room; the morning sun shone on the boxes still left unpacked in their new apartment, "Well at least it was just the apartment next door across from the elevator, I wonder how long it's been empty?" Penny mused, eyeing the cobweb on the ceiling, she prayed Sheldon wouldn't see it before she could clean it while he was at work.

Rising slowly from her tiny bed, four year old Victoria Maria Cooper rubbed her eyes of sleep with small fists. She brushed stray locks of curly blonde hair behind her ear and stared at her mother with big brown eyes, "What's arranged for today?"

Penny chuckled, "Did you forget already?" Victoria's eyes widen and she pushed herself to stand up, walking across her mattress to stare her mother in the eye,

"No, I don't forget anything! Just like Daddy," She announced proudly, putting her hands on her hips,

"Then what is 'arranged for today'?"

Victoria pouted and crossed her arms, "… something that requires you to wake me at 7 in the morning,"

Penny laughed and started digging through her daughter's wardrobe, "It's your first day of kindergarten!"

"Oh yes! I knew that," her daughter insisted, dropping onto the bed and sitting cross-legged. She watched Penny pull out multiple outfit options and let a large smile appear on her face; she enjoyed dressing up and playing pretend with her mother like they did every day. Penny made her try on different outfits, each, as Victoria noted, resembled a different character she could play. There was a girl who wore ripped jeans and a T-shirt, this Victoria was probably a rebel type. Then there was a Victoria who wore a frilly dress and clean white stockings – she was posh and rich and had a British accent. Victoria told her mother this, demonstrating the accent she had in mind. Finally, there was a girl with skirt, leggings, tank top and sneakers that glowed when you took a step – that was the Victoria she wanted to be today.

Penny smiled and placed her daughter on her lap in front of the vanity as she finished braiding her hair; she loved how her daughter shared her love of acting. Penny tied the braid with a blue ribbon and smiled into their reflections. Victoria smiled back and reached for her glasses sitting on the music box. Penny poked her daughter's nose, earning a giggle, "Look at your beautiful freckles, they make you unique."

"You know freckles are clusters of concentrated melanin. Also having them is genetic so that means one of you has the mel…ano…cortin-1 receptor MC1R gene variant." Victoria recited happily. Penny rolled her eyes, she had an eidetic memory like her father, but only remembering anything she's ever heard.

"Yes I know sweetie, that's what your father told you the other day when I said how cute your freckles were,"

"That's what he said _four_ days ago silly mommy," Victoria corrected, poking her mother's nose back before jumping off her lap and skipping back to her bed, "and you also asked why I have freckles when you two don't,"

Penny sighed, "Yes, I remember. Ok, come on, it's 8 o'clock now, we still need to have breakfast and get you off to school,"

"Firstly, I eat breakfast at 8:_10_,"

"Oh, of course," Penny replied sarcastically,

"Secondly, about kindergarten? I don't think I'll attend."

"What?"

"Yes, I'd very much prefer to skip ahead to college if that's alright with you,"

Penny looked at her daughter concerned, "Why don't you want to go to kindergarten?"

"Well, we always have fun at home, playing and baking…" Penny raised an eyebrow, "Daddy said that kids are going to be mean to me because they'll be intimidated by my intellect,"

"I see, just one second," Penny told her daughter in a sweet voice. She stood up and walked out the door, "SHELDON!" Victoria sat patiently, listening to the muffled sounds of her parents conversing in the room next door. Finally, her father stepped through her door, looking at her guiltily,

"Victoria," He addressed her, slowly and reluctantly taking a seat beside her on the bed, "Oh my, this mattress is squishy…" they both looked up at the sound of someone clearing their throat. Penny stood at the doorway, crossing her arms, eyes narrowed at her husband, "Anyways, it was recently brought to my attention that what I told you about your first day of school may have made you apprehensive about going," Penny expression softened and she nodded for him to continue, "What I meant to say was that in _high school_, you'll be targeted for your brains,"

"Sheldon!"

"But you won't have to worry about that because I will be sure to raise you so that you'll be graduating university with highest honours in just four years."

"Sheldon, out!"

Sheldon looked down at his watch, "Your mother's right Victoria, it's 8:10, time for your breakfast,"

After Victoria's breakfast of two pancakes, Sheldon and her went off to the bathroom to brush their teeth. Penny looked through her daughter's backpack she and Sheldon bought – what a trip to remember. Penny forbade Sheldon from buying her a bag with any reference to science fiction and Sheldon didn't allow Penny to choose a bag that was entirely pink (therefore eliminating her top choices of Hello Kitty and Barbie). They finally settled on one that had multiple squares of different colours; Penny called it 'funky' and 'stylish' while Sheldon said it looked like a Rubix cube, and Victoria liked it so everyone was happy.

In the front pouch of the bag, Penny felt something – _I don't remember putting anything _there. She pulled something out; it was a box from what she could feel. She looked down and chuckled softly, it was a box set of three, small sized, hand sanitizer bottles. Victoria wasn't concerned about messes and germs as much as her father, but she loathed her hands getting dirty, and adored hand sanitizer and wipes.

The father and daughter emerged from the bathroom, clean and ready to go. Victoria apprehensively took her bag from her mother and adjusted her glasses, "I promise, today will be fun. You get to do everything you do with me, but with kids your own age!" Penny said encouragingly walking her husband and daughter out the door, "And who knows, you'll probably have the guys in your class fighting to sit beside you," She winked, making Victoria blush as she exited the apartment and ran up to her uncle Leonard.

Penny held Sheldon back for a moment, "Sheldon, I know that you're going to be taking Victoria to school now before you and Leonard go to the university, and I think that's great," She smiled sweetly, before her expression turned serious, "but if you tell her anything contradicting what I just said about school to her in the car, I will make your life a living hell," With that, Penny shoved Sheldon out the door and gave a small wave of the hand before shutting the door. She sank onto the couch and let out a long sigh, fishing out the bottle of wine she hid under the cushions and opening it, taking a sip, "Alone at _last_!"

* * *

><p>"Mommy, Mommy!" Victoria ran into her home shouting. Penny emerged from the kitchen with a plate of cookies, "Aww, you baked without me…"<p>

"No, I baked for you! To celebrate your first day of school! How was it?"

Victoria rummaged through her backpack, "It was fun! I met some new friends who enjoy listening to me tell them new things, and my teacher's really nice and made the funniest face when I explained the basics of particle theory. Also, here it is!" Victoria pulled out a large piece of paper and showed it to her mother proudly, I drew this! It's what I think the farm Daddy used to live on looks like," The drawing was what you'd expect any four year old to create and Penny smiled, to her it was more beautiful than anything Da Vinci could have produced.

Sheldon soon entered the apartment as well, after saying goodbye to Leonard. Penny looked up at him and smiled, "Did you see the painting Victoria made today?" Sheldon shook his head and came over, looking at the work over his wife's shoulder, "Isn't it beautiful?"

Sheldon looked from the picture to his daughter, who's smile was growing with each compliment her mother gave, "It's lovely," he agreed, "I'm sure it looks remarkably similar to whatever it is you meant it to be," Victoria's smile feel straight off her face, replaced with a frown. Her lower lip trembled and she ran up, snatching the painting from her mother's hands and a cookie off the plate before running off to her room.

Penny slugged her husband's arm, "What the _hell_ was that?" She screeched in his ear, "Out of all the stupid things you've ever done, this tops it!"

"Penny, I don't believe lying to our daughter and giving her false hope will help her in the future. What is she decides to become an artist? Apart from the obvious fact that it's not a legitimate career path, she clearly doesn't have the proper skills,"

"Sheldon, she's four! And, if she did want to be an artist, we'd support her, let her take art classes. Do you even know what she painted?"

"I couldn't distinguish the shapes from one another,"

Penny sighed sadly, "She painted your childhood home, like from the stories you told her." In Sheldon's mind, the picture that was nothing but scribbles seemed to clear; he could pick out what was meant to be a barn, and a horse, and the chicken next door with glowing red, evil eyes. He looked at his shoes in shame. Then, Victoria slowly crept back into the room and reached into her bag, pulling out hand sanitizer and rubbing her hands, "Sweetie, your father has something to say to you,"

"Victoria, I'm genuinely sorry. That picture does look like my parent's farm back in Texas. Perhaps, we should take a trip up there soon," He suggested, looking to Penny for confirmation. She smiled and nodded.

Victoria ran up to her father and huge his legs tightly, her height not reaching his knees, "Thanks Daddy, I forgive you. Besides, it's like what Mommy said; you're inexperienced and senseless when it comes to the arts" She skipped back off to her room in order to get her drawing and hang in on the fridge, not seeing the glare her father was sending her mother as she nervously slipped back into the kitchen.


	8. Spelling Bee

Sheldon was currently sitting in front of Victoria's teacher who was shocked to see the tall, lanky physicist holding a folder packed with papers. Sheldon withdrew one booklet and turned to the final page, "Now if you'll just initial here that Victoria can skip grades 1-5 then we can end this awful encounter where I have to sit in a class and touch things that little sticky hands also touched and sit in a spot without proper assessment."

The teacher blinked a few times, processing everything the strange man was saying, _Oh yes_, she thought, _this is Victoria's father_, "I'm sorry Mr. Cooper-"

"_**Dr**_. Cooper, B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D., Sc.D."

She bit back a snide remark, "Yes, well _Dr. _Cooper, I'm afraid I can't sign these."

It was Sheldon's turn to be appalled. His face started twitch erratically, making the teacher shrink back in fear, "What?"

"Well, she's astonishingly intelligent in all fields-"

"Exactly, as was I when I was her age, and therefore she should be skipping grades faster than you can teach these children the colour wheel,"

"Dr. Cooper, she's hovering just below the class average in one major field: Spelling. If she was excelling in that as well I'd have no trouble signing your forms, but maybe next year."

Sheldon looked down, thinking, then his head snapped back up and he stared her with wide eyes, "I have a proposition,"

"Mr." She noticed the glare from across the table, "_**Dr**_. Cooper, I'm afraid this isn't up for debate,"

"I see, well you're right, I suppose I can just come in everyday and observe your teaching methods, see what you're failing at and educate you myself so that you may better mould the young minds of tomorrow…" Doctor Cooper mused aloud.

The teacher's eyes widened in horror. She put on a smile and rested her head on her hands, leaning over the desk, "On second thought, let's hear your proposal…"

* * *

><p>"You want me to what?" Victoria screeched at her father, her tiny, high pitched voice unpleasant to his ears – not that he'd say that aloud.<p>

"It's very simple, you just have to win the spelling bee."

"But it's tomorrow!"

"…Victoria I really don't see the problem here."

That night Victoria tossed and turned in her bed; a nightmare invading her sleep.

_She was on stage and was asked to spell the first word: CAT_

"_C…A…T, Cat"_

_The loud, sound of the buzzer went off, which sounded remarkably like her father. The judge, who also looked and sounded like her father, spoke into the microphone so that all the world could hear, "I'm sorry that's incorrect. You're stupid and your parents would now like to disown you,"_

She sat straight up and rubbed the tears from her eyes. She grabbed her stuff Einstein doll and tip-toed to her parent's room. The door creaked open and she cautiously maneuvered herself through the darkness until she found the edge of her parent's bed. She walked over to what she assumed was her mother's sleeping body and began lightly tugging at them, "Mommy…" she whispered, "Mommy, mommy, mommy?"

"DANGER!" The form shouted, sitting up straight.

"Or Daddy…"

Penny groaned and turned on the light, "What's going on?"

"I had a nightmare," Victoria answered simply, "So I was hoping I could spend the rest of the night in here?"

"Aw, sweetie," Penny cooed, picking Victoria up and tucking her in the middle, "What was it about,"

"Oh, it was quite stupid and irrational. I had to spell cat, I spelled it right but he said I was wrong," she nudged her head towards her father, "and then you disowned me," she finished with a tired smile, "well, good night,"

The two parents watched as their daughter easily succumbed to sleep. Penny glared at her husband, "Well?" She prodded,

Sheldon looked over at his wife, "Well what?"

"Are you not going to apologise for making your daughter have a nightmare?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I really don't see how this is my fault,"

Penny rubbed her temples. It was three in the morning and she just wasn't in the mood to lecture. She scoffed and laid back down, turning away so her back was facing him.

Sheldon watched her lay down and ignore him; it was quite childish really. His eyes drifted to his daughter, deep in a REM sleep, "… nope, still don't see it,"

* * *

><p>Victoria was on stage, trying to ignore everyone's eyes on her as she sat with other finalist for the kindergarten spelling bee. She looked away from the audience and glanced at a poster made for the event, the first three words were crossed out: Spleelyng Speelling Spellying <strong>Spelling Bee<strong>. Ironic, she noted.

"Victoria Cooper," Her teacher announced. Victoria couldn't help but detect a bit of detest in the teacher's voice when she read her last name. The little girl stood up and walked over to the microphone, "Your word is evidently,"

"Evidently," she repeated into the microphone, "E-V-I," She could easily spot where her parents and their friends were sitting. When they saw her watching them, they all waved, "D-E-N," Howard tried to mouth something, but Bernadette smacked his arm and scolded him, "T," she looked at her mother, who gave her a reassuring smile. Finally, she looked at her father, whose eye was twitching. This spelling bee clearly meant a lot to him, what if she failed? What if she misspelled the word, would he hate her?

"Ms. Cooper, are you finished?"

"N-no, sorry," she stammered, breaking contact off with her father and looking at the floor instead.

Penny looked from her daughter's sad form to her husband and saw his expression, "Sheldon, look what you're doing to her!"

Sheldon's face returned to normal and he looked over at Penny, "Actually the proper way to say that would be: Sheldon look _at_ what-"

"Our daughter," she pointed, "is standing up there doing something she doesn't want to do because you forced her. Now, when she's gotten so far and she just wants a bit of recognition for it, she sees you with a look that makes her think you're about to **murder her**,"

Penny's speech warranted the attention from a few parents sitting close by. Leonard apologised on their behalf since Mr. and Mrs. Whackadoodle were too busy 'chatting'. Leonard looked over and saw Sheldon with a look of remorse, something that's only been happening for the past four years and still surprises Leonard every single time.

"Evidently," Victoria repeated, "E-V-I-D-E-N-T-A-L-Y,"

"I'm sorry dear, that's incorrect," Victoria's tiny mouth hung open and she looked like she was on the brink of tears. Her eyes refused to go to her father, expecting either his twitching to have increased to a full blown seizure, or for him to be glaring daggers, "Marcus Kripke, if you can correctly spell this word, you're the kindergarten spelling bee winner!"

"Ha, no sweat. Evidentwy," he lisped, "E-V-I-D-E-N-T-L-Y, evidentwy,"

"That is correct! Congratulations Marcus," the teacher took a gold medal and hung it around his neck, "you are the kindergarten spelling bee winner!"

The teacher shook Marcus' hand and then grabbed a silver medal. She walked over to Victoria and bent down to place it around her neck, "Better luck next time," Victoria stood on stage, hands clasped behind her back as Marcus danced idiotically on stage. She glanced into the crowd and saw Mr. Kripke talking to her father, probably mocking him.

She huffed and walked up to the microphone, "Hubble's Law: v(recessional velocity of galaxy) equals H0 (Hubble constant) times d (distance to galaxy)," Everyone in the crowd went silent, frozen in their places –Marcus had his hands up to the ceiling with his mouth agape as he stared at her, along with everyone else, "the distance to a star in parsecs equal one divided by p (which is parallax angle of star in arcseconds)."

She smiled proudly and began to walk off. She remember something and scampered back to the microphone, "And by the way: recessional velocity: R-E-C-E-S-S-I-O-N-A-L V-E-L-O-C-I-T-Y,"

She calmly walked off stage while glancing once again across the crowd of stunned adults and her father. She wasn't sure was she was expecting, but what she saw was her father with a smile; a genuine –comically villainous- smile.

He was proud.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ha, I had to put in Kripke and his son xD (And before someone wants to flame me, I know that if Kripke could somehow get a girl and have a child that the kid wouldn't have a lisp, but this is fanfiction about a comedy show… it had to be done.)**

**Reviews please?**


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